Are you a strict shoes-off household or do you, like me, cringe at the thought of asking guests to leave their shoes at the door? It’s a controversial topic, I know.
I fully understand the reasoning behind the no shoes rule that some households follow, and I would certainly never refuse to take my shoes off if asked – but I don’t like it. There’s something that seems a little offensive about the whole thing. I mean, what’s wrong with my shoes? Obviously, if they were mixed in dirt, I would remove them without asking. I’m not going to ruin your beauty carpet with mud puddles. I had a friend who insisted that shoes be left at the front door, despite sharing her house with three very hairy, slobbery dogs—my socks would be covered in fur and drool when I left. It just doesn’t make sense.
To put this issue to bed, I decided to speak to a range of experts both from the world of good etiquette as well as top cleaning gurus. So, who is in the right in the great shoes off debate?
Is it rude to ask guests to remove their shoes?
Whichever camp you fall into, let’s start by looking at what the experts have to say about asking guests to take off their shoes. front door, Before they enter your home. In my mind, that can be seen as a little undesirable.
Etiquette Specialist Laura WindsorAKA ‘The Queen of Etiquette’, a consultant for Netflix’s Bridgerton series and Queen Elizabeth II Commonwealth Trust leader, offers her to decide on the matter.
“Taking off shoes when entering one’s home has not traditionally been considered a cultural norm in the UK. However, many people are now adopting this practice, as it helps keep the home clean and prevents outside dirt from being brought indoors.
“If you invite guests to your home and choose to remove shoes, it’s a good idea to mention this in advance,” adds Laura. “Doing this helps avoid embarrassing situations for guests who might not be expecting it — especially if they have holes in their socks.”
Joe Hayes, the world’s leading etiquette expert and founder EtiquetteExpert.OrgAgree that homeowners are perfectly entitled to ask guests to remove their shoes, with one exception.
“This rule usually only applies to individual guests, or, perhaps, a very small number of guests. If you’re having a big party at your house, this rule won’t fly. Invite 80 people to your house for a cocktail party and then ask them to leave their shoes at the door. It ruins the whole atmosphere.
“If your home isn’t suitable for a shoe-wearing cocktail party crowd, don’t host one—or host it outside or in an area of your home where shoes are okay,” adds Joe.
Laura was an early etiquette advisor for Netflix’s Bridgerton series and is the Queen Elizabeth II Commonwealth Trust Leader. Her role in this organization is to strengthen effective and meaningful relationships between global leaders; Enhancing cross-cultural communication skills, sensitivity and appreciation. Laura is a trusted advisor to international celebrities and royal families in the Middle East, consulting on best behavior and protocol in everyday life, providing confidence-building skills for life for both adults and children. Laura is also a personal stylist and personal shopper for HNWIs worldwide.
Joe Hayes is the world’s leading etiquette expert and founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org. She completed a Masters research thesis on etiquette and modern etiquette, being the world’s only etiquette consultant with academic research to her name. Joe is also a speech-language pathologist specializing in social skills training. He regularly provides international media commentary on a range of etiquette, protocol and relations topics.
How do you politely ask guests to remove their shoes?
If you want guests to remove their shoes, you’re probably keen to do it in a way that comes off politely, ultimately causing offense before visitors even step into your shoes. the hallway Never a good thing.
Joe Hayes has some tips on how homeowners can approach this matter in a non-offensive way. “Show it with your own behavior. Greet them at your door without shoes on. Additionally, a shoe rack at the front door (inside or outside) sends a clear message that this is probably a ‘no-shoes’ home. It also provides a place for guests to deposit their shoes.
“When you greet them at the door, after the initial niceties, if the guests haven’t already taken off their shoes, or if they’ve asked, there needs to be a kind, quiet and clear request,” continues Joe. “I hope you don’t mind, we’re house shoes without shoes” is usually enough for guests to respond with an ‘Oh! Of course, no problem’. Indeed, no guest will resist this request. It’s perfectly reasonable. Depending on the situation, you may offer a set of house slippers if this would make the guest more comfortable.”
Shopping for a shoe collection
Dunelm
Kempton Shoe Storage Bench
With eight storage compartments and a cushioned bench, use this to keep a few house slippers for guests to wear or to signal the fact that you’re a shoeless household.
IKEA
Gullaberg shoe cabinet with 4 compartments
This slimline shoe rack has four drop down sections and will fit neatly even in small hallways and hide shoes out of sight.
Noa and Nani
Noah and little Brittany’s hallway bench
Store coats and shoes with this two-in-one hallway storage solution that features hooks and a bench with a lift-up seat for storing shoes underneath.
Should visitors offer to take off their shoes?
If it’s not rude to ask guests to remove their shoes, how about when the tables are turned. Should I, as a visitor to someone else’s home, offer to take off my shoes? I actually do this, but I still feel a little uneasy when they say yes.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This means, for guests, consider the norms and rules of the house at your host’s place and behave accordingly,” says Joe Hayes.
“Use common sense, intuition, be polite and considerate. If in doubt, ask, ‘Would you like me to take off my shoes?’ Many households operate with this rule—and for good reason. “Shoes bring in huge amounts of dirt and grime – and especially for carpeted areas of the house, boot-offs help keep everything nice and clean.”
good point. But, doormats are there for a reason. Surely a thorough wipe is enough? And even then, of course Carpet cleaning Isn’t it too much effort to try to keep your guests happy once in a while?
Oliver Bonas
Hello scalloped doormat
This scalloped doormat is a fun way to welcome your guests and provides a place to dry dirty footwear.
Dunelm
Natural Chunky Jute Woven Doormat
Place this jute mat inside your home for another chance to clean shoes
Is it unhygienic to wear shoes indoors?
Which brings us nicely to this next point. If your guests are checking their shoes and wiping them thoroughly before entering, how much harm does it really do to wear shoes indoors?
Lynsey CrombieThe UK’s number 1 home expert and TV presenter is here to give advice. “From a cleaning standpoint, I completely understand why many homeowners choose a no-shoes policy. Shoes can bring in all kinds of dirt, bacteria, grass, pollen, and general dirt from outside, especially in the wet months. If you’ve just cleaned your carpet or mowed the floor, the last thing you want is muddy footprints.
“In homes with kids running around, allergy sufferers, or light-colored carpets, asking people to take off their shoes can definitely help keep things cleaner for longer,” continued Lins.
“I also think people are more conscious these days about home cleanliness. We spend so much time creating clean and quiet, comfortable spaces that naturally many homeowners want to protect that environment,” she says. “In homes with carpets, rugs, or soft furnishings, outdoor shoes can quickly make things look tired and worn, especially in high-traffic areas.”
I’ll admit that the carpet in my living room is looking a little worse for wear since it’s the main route from the front door to the rest of the house. But how about houses with hard floors?
“If you want tiles, laminate or Wooden floorsI personally think it’s a little less important, because those surfaces are usually very easy to clean,” says Linsey. “A quick sweep, vacuum or mop usually separates things, and many modern floors are designed to handle everyday wear and tear. In those homes, asking people to properly wipe their feet on a good-quality doormat can often be enough to prevent most dirt from entering the home.”
Lynsey Crombie @lynsey_queenofclean is the UK’s number 1 home expert and TV presenter. Linsey’s website www.queenofclean.blog Packed full of cleaning hacks, tips and advice. Lynsey’s best selling book ‘The 15 Minute Clean’ is available to buy from Amazon.
Shoes on or off? Who is in the right?
I am beginning to think that there is no right or wrong here. I guess that’s just personal opinion and Linsey Crombie’s point about the effect shoes can have on carpet is a good one. However, she is also keen to point out that you need to weigh cleanliness vs hospitality.
“For some people, asking guests to remove their shoes can feel a little awkward or overly formal, especially if the visitors feel self-conscious about their socks or just don’t expect them,” says Linsey. “Hospitality is about making people feel relaxed and welcome, so some homeowners make guests feel comfortable instead of worrying about taking their shoes off at the door.
“I think there’s definitely a middle ground as well,” she continues. “Some families have a strict no-shoes rule upstairs or on the carpet, but it’s more relaxed in the kitchen or dining room With hard flooring. Others keep indoor slippers or spare socks available for guests, which makes the whole thing feel more welcoming rather than awkward.
“Personally, I think homeowners should do what works best for their home without feeling guilty about it,” Linsey adds. “If removing shoes helps you maintain a cleaner, quieter home and reduces cleaning time, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask politely.
“Equally, if you’re happy for guests to keep their shoes on and you don’t mind the occasional extra sweep or mop, that’s perfectly fine too,” she notes. “At the end of the day, homes are meant to be lived in and enjoyed. Whether the shoes are on or off, it’s about finding a balance between cleanliness, practicality and making people feel at home.”
If you’re uncomfortable asking guests to remove their shoes but don’t want to clean up more often than necessary, take a look at this. Consider hallway flooring Which offers the most resilience to dirt. Or, if shoe closures are non-negotiable, make sure your Consider hallway storage There is room to spare for extra footwear.
